Geeky women are awesome. No really, we are.

For a certain type of guy, we are the ideal girlfriend. You can have the mac vs pc conversation with us, we install our own software, we won’t look at you funny if you mention you’ve just cleared out Vault 63 or saved Tamriel, we might even laugh at that lolcat you made. Plus, about all geeky women I know have big boobs.

But don’t get too excited. Geeky women require proper care. We might be geeks, but we’re still women. So here’s some tips on how to appeal to geeky women, and keep your geeky girlfriend happy. From personal experience, and experience of fellow geeky women (thank you, Echo, Loaf, Cthru, White, Photo and HP!).

 

In this first installment, we’ll get into the early beginnings: meeting geeky women, and making them not run away screaming.

 

1. Obey general forum etiquette

So you’re a troll. You Type Like A Newspaper. U think we R all fags lolwtfbbq.

Congratulations: you’ll never make friends online, let alone appeal to women. Geeky women specifically appreciate intelligence and to appear more intelligent, it helps tremendously if you type halfway decently. In the words of someone infinitely more wise than me:  “If you can’t conjugate verbs, then there will be no other forms of conjugation allowed”.

 

2. Do not a/s/l

A/s/l only works in ‘specialized’ chatrooms. The kind where you’re not hanging out to meet girlfriend material. And even then, hornypussy21 will, in 97% of all cases, not be a woman*, no matter what they say.

In any regular situation, a/s/l is the white socks in sandals of online faux pas. But it still happens a lot, in one form or another. Example: if in an MMO you meet a female character, and your second line to them is ‘Are u girl?’, you’re not doing it right.

The reason for this is that most female gamers and chatters are not online specifically to be flirted with. We are not there for your amusement, but for our own.

So how do you pick the actual women out?  The answer is, annoyingly enough, that you’ll just have to be agreeable and make friends. Most females will reveal themselves after some extended conversation. You can get on from there.

 * for a given definition of ‘woman’ as ‘older than14’, ‘female’ and ‘of the human species’

 

 

 3. Conversation starters

Since geeky women are exposed to the internet, it is possible to talk to them about random weirdness, but try to keep the dick jokes to a minimum, unless the woman starts spouting them herself.

Great conversation topics with a geeky woman are online comics, movies and TV shows, especially sci-fi or ‘cult’ series like Buffy (pro tip: I have yet to meet a girl that doesn’t  absolutely love Pushing Daisies). Books, games and science are also great topics, depending on the geek before you (coding geek or gaming geek). When talking about games, though, try to have opinions on gameplay and plotlines, rather than the boobs on the main character.

Also, while we’re into technology, we’re usually not into cars and won’t like talking about them, unless referring to Top Gear episodes. And we’re definitely not into sports. We couldn’t care less if your team just won, and how many times it has done so since 1923. On the same note, we will not be impressed by the number of hours you spend in the gym.

 

4. Choose your compliments

Geeks value expertise and intelligence, both in you and in themselves. So when complimenting, try to compliment talents, skills and knowledge more than physical appearance. We like that you think we’re pretty, but we’ll love it if you think we’re smart.

 

 5. For the love of god, don’t a/s/l

I’m serious. There is no bigger turn-off.

 

 6. Don’ t talk down to a geek

Geeky women can install their own software and will know how a computer works. So if we ask you for advice on a crashed program, don’t state the obvious. We will have checked the plug, and rebooted. Talking down to us, especially about something you don’t know that much more about, will be met with frustration.

 

7. Geeky women are not men

We are more than just ‘geeks’ and will enjoy other things than slagging off game companies and playing Guitar Hero.

But while we may like buying shoes or baking cake, a geek is by default a modern woman. That means we also enjoy being independent, and the right to vote. Try to keep this in mind and act as if it’s actually the 21st century. Sexist remarks are never sexy. Not even when said jokingly.

 You can read the rest of the tips in part two, right here.

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